It's Official.

On Halloween I took the kids downtown do Trick or Treating and while we were walking I kept feeling the ole underoos slipping down.  At first, I kept telling myself it was just a little slip, no reason to hike them back up. That little slip turned into a whole ass. By the time we got back to the car, my undies were no longer over my ass, they were under my ass. I tried a few nonchalant (In my head they were nonchalant) grab and pulls, but these fuckers weren't staying.

So everyone I know, knows that I moved out here to Oregon about a year ago and all of my close people know I haven't transitioned well. It's been rough and when the rough stuff gets going, I get to eating. I'll be honest, I don't care about my body or my mind as long as I got a meal in my belly. These are coping skills, people. Look it up. Who needs a doctor when you got a Polar Pop and hot dog?

Now that you've got that little back story I need to move one to this morning. I'm getting dressed, about to take the kids to school, because that pretty much my only responsibility these days. So I am slipping on the White Cottons and they aren't really making their way over my boodie. Wham! It hits me. I have officially eaten myself into my underwear not fitting me anymore. The stretchiest piece of clothing I own is at it's max capacity.

You would think that I would immediately get on the horn with The Biggest Loser people, but I did not. I shrugged.

Hello, is it me Your Looking For?

While I don't suspect anyone is there anymore but I will say hello. The adventures of life have taken me here. To Oregon. It's been slow going but I am starting to enjoy life in Oregon. It took awhile to get it going and we all know I am as impatient as a bitch can come so this was not easy for me. There was crying, there was a lot of upsettedness like only I can do. Dishes in the sink, unfolded clothes, commercials... you name it. It either put me over the edge and I cried or got pissed off.

Rick is a trooper. He sticks by my whackjobbedness with great fervor. It's ok with me that he doesn't mind that I am and always will be batshit crazy. It isn't all bad for him, though. Don't feel sorry for him.

So what keeps us here? In the end. School. Not for me, of course. My kids go to great schools. Ohio can never compare as long my children have better futures here.

I love  you, Ohio. I miss you, sister, most of all. I miss you, house. I miss you, neighbors. I miss you crazy neighborhood guy who walks around with no shirt on looking scary as fuck but is really just looking for a few shiny things on the sidewalk. I miss you, 2 minutes away Walmart. All my childrens memories are there but we will make more. We already have.

Pecans for Moms.

Just a little backstory first:

You may or may not have noticed that I tend to blog sporadically. My Mama likes to read my blog and this tends to get on her nerves a little. (Hi Ma!) So, in her infinite wisdom, (Love you, Ma!) she thought of a great idea for a little inspiration. Something to just getting me writing.

 Did I mention my Mama works at a pecan factory? Well she does, she is a Pecan Afficianado. (I totes just coined that Title.) I digress. In all her smartiepantsedness she thought it would be a great idea if I tried out all the pecans they have on the farm and did a review of them. Like Best to worst sort of thing.

Obviously I have yet to do it, but in honor of Mother's Day I shall eat all of the pecans I can. Pure Torture. (So Not, the little buggers are delish.)

Now, when you are doing some serious pecan cracking you need the proper tools. My Mama knew this and sent a Texan Nut Sheller, yes the actual name, along to help me out. You will see it in the photo below. These are serious business so don't be playing around with them if you get one. Word?

I started with the Western Shlay, the name  just caught my eye, it SHLAYED me... no? OK. Well then that one wasn't as tasty as I'd hoped. The meat (technical term for insides or part you eat) was really soft and the color was a soft brown, very appealing. I wasn't thrilled with it though. These are are kind of small too. I would say these would be good for carmelizing or cooking in a way that would bring out the flavors more.

While we were doing our taste test Krhystal stopped by so of course:

For now that is all I have on the pecan front. I actually had intended to have the whole thing done for Mother's Day but, well, I mean... things happen. I didn't. Stop bothering me about it.

I am going to go all American Idol judgey on these pecans. Stay Tuned.

-Trish

Movie Sunday

I have a few recommendations in case you are looking to watch a movie on this fine Sunday after Christmas or any Sunday, really.

First Home From the Hill. It's a 1960 story about a town with secrets. A very young, but still kind of tan, George Hamilton is a spoiled rich kid. The very handsome Robert Mitchum plays his father and rich man of the town. Georage Peppard is the illegitamate son that saves the day. ( Also very handsome in his day.) Check it out, you will love it.

IF you're more interested in something a little newer then we have the tale of a silkie that the sea spit out. Ondine is a love story, perfect for a Sunday afternoon. The beautiful Irish accents hooked me from the start. Colin Farrel plays a fisherman that catches a beautiful woman in his net and his life changes in some very strange ways. His little daughter steals the whole show, she is smart and witty and, of course, Irish.

Happy Sunday to you.

Apple and Cheese Torte

Easy Peasy Cheesy Apple Torte

• 1 Pillsbury pie crust
• 2 lbs ish of apples
• 1/3 of a cup of sugar
• 2 tbsp. unsalted butter
• Sharp or Super Sharp Cheddar cheese
• Preheat oven to 400 degrees

First you are going to want to peel and cut up the apples. I think this is a preference thing so I am not going to give you any size or shapes standards. Second, melt the butter and pour it over your apples then add the sugar and mix it all up. Lay the pie crust out on the cookie sheet. Put the apple mix in the center, leaving about a one inch edge all around. When you're apples are piled high fold that edge in half and give it some pinches here and there.

Like so:

Put that loveliness in the oven an let it cook for about a half an hour or until it's looking pretty golden. Take it out and add the cheese over the top of it and pop it back in the oven.

Let the cheese melt and  !VIOLA! 

 DELICIOUSNESS!!!

Then make yourself a glass of wine and blog about it while enjoying the successful flavors.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Sharing is Fun.

I found a cute blog link started by Little Miss Momma. Cute name, huh. I now know a few things about her, like her blog name is very appropriate as she is a little pixie at 4'11". I know that because she wanted full disclosure for all of her new BFF's. So she's having a party over there at Little Miss Momma and I just invited myself. Hope that's o.k.

So you, person reading this... Mom, Am, Stace.

A list of 10 things I feel you should know if we're going to be BFF's:

1. I'm a cryer. There really is no telling what could make me cry... Anything from Oreo commercials to Taylor Swift songs. I mean it happens at random moments so I can't be specific for you. Just be on the lookout is all I'm saying.

2. I do embarassing things like laugh super loud and express myself through dance and song at random moments. Again, I never know when this could happen so just be aware.

3. Although I have no illusions that I am a good vocalist, I sing at the top of my lungs in the car and in the shower. I have also been known to sing some karaoke.

4. My Itunes holds exactly 10.1 DAYS woth of music. I love music. I know, everyone does right. No... I don't think you understand, I Love music. It moves me in a way that I can't even express to you. I do not discriminate either. It is all welcome...except Screamo. I mean I really did try but, I just can't get on board with that.

5. I have a PenPal. She is probably the only person in this world that can pick out my penmanship in a line up. This is important because you might get jealous when I won't let you read her letters but you can bet your knickers that I will read them in front of you, laughing hysterically. She's also funny so bring your A-game.

6. Did I mention that sometimes I am not nice simply for the comedic value of it?

7. I am a people watcher.

8. I'm a little bit damaged goods so I won't always believe you when you say I look nice, but I am working on taking compliments. Actually, I'm working on a lot of things. In the meantime, my sense of humor makes up for the lack of confidence.

9. If our kids argue about something and come to us to solve the problem for them I will stop them in their tracks and tell them to figure out a solution or they can not play together. I like to call that character building.

10. I love gifts... and surprises. If someone would like to tell my husband this little gem, that would be great. I kid, I kid... but seriously...pass it on.

A Tale of Two Perms

I was 8 years old in 1987. The year of the spiral perm is how I refer to it. That Summer my mom agreed to let me get a perm. I had to walk myself over to her hairdresser friends house and she would do it for me. As I remember it, it was  pretty hot Summer day but there was no way I was not making the trek to this woman's house for my perm. The burning and smelly chemicals didn't even phase me. When it was all done I skipped home, sweating my butt off.

So.

Today, I took my 9 year old in to Fantastic Sam's in the Chestnut Commons. ( Great group of girls that work there, you should check it out.) We had every intention of getting her a perm. We spent an hour before that Googling all different types of perms so we knew what we were doing. The young lady seemed reluctant to touch her baby fine hair. THe whole time she was doing it, she had this look of terror on her face. I really don't think all that was necesary, I wasn't nervous, I mean it wasn't life or death- it was hair! Anyhoo, Abby was great. She sat for the hour and half and drank her juice box and was cool as a kitten.

I am so happy to report:

You Have to Try This One!

I am all about making some home-made gifts this year. If you don't like home-made gifts, just let me know and I will be sure and not give you a present. (Yes, I am passive aggressive.) Seriously though, not to go on a tangent here, I always feel like people appreciate things you make for them less, when in fact they should be more grateful that you took the time to do something extra special with your own two hands. I mean really, people! That is so not what I intended this blog to be about.

Ok, moving on.

I am super excited about this one! I think it's my favorite thing I have seen around the internet for years and never made. last night I spent hours tearing apart a book, yes you read that right. I tore it until it was nothing. It was an old I have had since high school and I already read it so just relax, Amber.

This is what I got in return though:

Beautiful, right!

Now what you're looking at here is a first draft. I learned a few things. One, you're using hot glue so use your fingers as little as possible. Having a pencil to use for pressing the cones down is very necessary. Two, Definitely make sure you do the step that instructs you to cut the end off the inside layers because your little circle won't cover the ugly tips at the center otherwise. Make sure when you roll them, you make the bottom tiny and not large, they are much prettier that way. It took me a few tries to get it just right, this wreath is made with the cones that didn't make the cut on the pretty scale so can yoy imagine how pretty the next one is going to be?! Make sure you roll it so that the page number is not in the visible part of the cone, I didn't like seeing the page numbers on my finished wreath. Just a few tips, I hope they help.

I also have seen a lot of decorating of them. I like them plain but if you google "paper wreaths" you will see a lot of ribbon and glitter. Not my style, but I think I will add some paint or watercolor to the edge to age them a little.

The tutorial is on a blog called BagsandBuds & Fobulous! The Tutorial is here. If you try it, I want to see your pictures. I will be making many more so maybe you will get one for Christmas, too!

As a sidenote, while I was making these I was watching/listening to the Artist Den on the Ovation channel. Great show with good music. Today is Amy Mann, Glen Hansard and Crowded House. mmhhmm. Crowded House was very good, actually. I enjoyed it. I'm not a big Amy Mann fan, though... and I don't think that's how she spells her name but I don't care so don't correct me.

As Sammy would say- Peace and One, Ya'll!

Anthropology Can Suck It!

As we all know I read lots of blogs. A few months ago I came across a number of blogs with their own versions of this Necklace:

I know, Pretty right!

Anyhow, so I browsed around and took a look at the "how I did it" on this blog and a thread on Craftster.

Then I made my own.

I tore apart some fake flowers from the dollar store and then reassembled them the way I wanted. Bought the pearls, wire and clasp at Pat Cataan's for about 15 bucks all together, but I also have tons of pearls, wire and clasps left over so all in all it cost me about ten bucks to make it. Yeah, it's  fifty-six bucks at Anthropology.

I like mine better.

I am Thankful for the Internet

I made a whole Thanksgiving meal today. I know what you're thinking, but I did not use one single box of anything. I made it all from scratch. Yeah. Me. The point is that without sites like the following, it wouldn't have been possible So yes, This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the internet.

Here are the recipes I used:

• Apple Butter Pumpkin Pie
• How to make Turkey Gravy
• Pecan Cheesecake
• Addictive Mac and Cheese
• Herb Chicken Rub

I used everything pretty much as it is in the recipes. I am not an idiot so I adapted some stuff to my liking. Like I used more Apple Butter and less pumpkin than that recipe called for and I didn't use the Gruyer cheese (Surprisingly, they didn't have it at Walmart... No not surprising at all), I just used another kind of cheddar and some Manchego cheese I had. (DELICIOUS!) That was the biggest hit of the day, the kids went crazy for it, like literally, I had to subdue them after they took the first bite.

I have no idea who all these ladies are but I am thankful for them also.

OK but this is how I know I am... growing. I made it all and then some and I didn't mess up one single thing. Usually I end up apologizing for my lack of culinary skills at any family meal, holiday or not, but not this one. Not one single thing went wrong. Oh that's not true. I didn't make the yams at all and I forgot cranberry. But I digress, everything I MADE turned out beautifully and I couldn't be more proud of myself. That might sound a little arrogant, but anyone that knows me knows that I don't cook and when I do I mess something up so yes, I am proud of myself.

A few shots of the star of the day.

And Ali doing my dishes. I am thankful for Ali too.

Ever Had One of These?

This week was super rough. Abby has had a persistent fever since Tuesday. Doctors in the hospital emergency clinic were of no help, tests galore and then a not really sure but here's some Zythro-something... manage her fever.

Okie dokie.

I am not going to feel good about sending her back to school unless the fever is gone. That would really be bad parenting. So here we are 2:00 in the morning fever raging on and we are just trying to "manage" it. Thank you medical expert.

On a good note there have been some things that are good. Abby being home with me all day everyday has been Fabulous. We hang out, watch shows together, sew together, nap together ( love the naps) and best of all she lets me hold her and give her kisses which equates to heaven in my book because my 9 year old isn't letting me do that very often these days. We made trees together, too. She stuffed, I sewed.

I have now come into my own as a Domestic Goddess of sorts. OH no. Nonononononononononono, You miss understand. The house is still a mess. BUT. Now I can vacuum in style. I am the proud owner of a Dyson 17 or something. (The technicals aren't the point, ok.) Does anyone have one of these puppies? OMG you have not vacuumed unless you have vacuumed with one of these. They actually bounce and move and the cyclonic filter system that guy on the commercial is talking about is no joke. NO JOKE.

Ella is being wonderful. She made two stories with illustrations tonight. One is called The Shape Story. It's about a circle that changes into different shapes. The second was The Story with No Words. It's about vampires that cry a lot. Genius.

Speaking of genius, I discovered a great blog with art projects for kids catergorized by artists that are known for the techniques. Yes, genius. http://www.artprojectsforkids.org/ Check it out. It's all very simple and the projects are very easy to do with your kids.

Let's see what else?

Well I tried uploading pictures but Blogger won't let me. It's about as useful as doctors.

A Friday...Unedited.

Took a field trip to the Playhouse Theatre in Cleveland. Good stuff.



I wore my Kelly's.

Cleveland

It's not Broadway but I like it.

PlayHouse- Ohio Theatre

They were great and answered questions about the puppets.

 Mermaid Theatre of Novia Scotia, Canada

Cleveland

Shortly after this she was out.

When we got back we went to dinner at Quaker Steak